When there is self-trust, trust in others comes much easier. After my divorce, I didn't trust men. I transferred my feelings about my ex-husband onto every man in the world. They were all bad. They were all going to hurt me. I couldn't rely on any of them. It was a blanket mistrust. This response was fueled by the fear I had of being hurt. The truth is, however, that it wasn't really them I didn't trust; it was myself.
Blanket statements about any group in society are alarms that need your attention. There is no such thing as all people fitting into any box because we all have different belief systems. My belief system about relationships, which was cultivated by my experiences, is what made me feel all men were unreliable and destined to hurt me.
As I began doing my own inner work, I uncovered the limiting beliefs that not only led me to believe all men were bad, but also got to the heart of why I had chosen those relationships in the first place. I started to see how the beliefs I had influenced the patterns in my life. Once I recognized them, I had a choice: continue operating from those limitations or replace them with more empowering beliefs.
Creating space for a healthy relationship required more than simply finding the right person. It required becoming the version of myself capable of recognizing and receiving one. It started with me and the way I viewed the world.
It took years before I trusted myself enough to start dating again, but those years were far from wasted.
During that time, I immersed myself in learning about energy, personal growth, and the ways our beliefs shape our experiences. The major breakthroughs didn't happen overnight, but the seeds were being planted. When I was finally ready, those seeds began to grow leading to who I am today.
A lack of trust isn't always a bad thing because not everyone is trust-worthy. What needs to be considered is what's driving your mistrust. When it's rooted in fear, it's fueled by a limiting belief and that doesn't support you. When it arises from your intuition, it's fueled by your wisdom and beliefs that do support you.
Initially, after my divorce, my lack of trust was 100% fueled by fear. Once I unpacked WHY I was attracting who I was into my life, I began to see patterns. There were similarities between prior relationships that I had never seen before. Taking ownership of those patterns empowered me to identify and change the beliefs that had made me a magnet for people who repeatedly reinforced my fears and mistrust.
Fear carries a heavy energy that has a low frequency to its vibration. When we move through life afraid of being hurt, we tend to focus on evidence that confirms that fear because what you send out, you bring in.
Since I didn't trust myself to recognize a healthy relationship, that's the frequency I sent out. I never expected to find a good guy and assumed I'd meet another harmful one so I attracted men that reinforced that fear. Remember, the Universe gives you who you are and who you are is dictated by your frequency. In order to experience the reality you desire, you have to become the energetic version that matches that reality. Living in fear of being hurt is only going to bring in more evidence to support you should be afraid. I needed to become the trusting version of myself that would recognize and accept a relationship that was supportive.
I went from doubt to trust by learning how to listen to my intuition. It took practice, but once I started dating again, I found I could recognize red flags much earlier. Each time I honored my intuition, my confidence grew. That confidence changed how I showed up in the world and opened me to different experiences and healthier connections.
I also developed a deeper trust that no matter what happened, I would be okay. I looked back on my life I realized I always had been okay. Every challenge I had faced eventually led me to the other side. That realization was incredibly empowering.
When we operate from empowerment rather than fear, we see the world differently. We notice opportunities instead of threats. We become more open to possibilities. That shift in perspective ultimately led me to meet Steve. Had I remained stuck in the belief that all men were bad, I would have missed the opportunity entirely.
Our emotional state influences how we experience life. When we remain immersed in heavy emotions, we tend to view the world through a lens that highlights evidence supporting those feelings. But when we allow ourselves to process those emotions and then intentionally shift our perspective, we begin to notice evidence that life can be supportive, abundant, and meaningful.
One of the simplest ways I've found to create that shift from low frequency emotions to high is through gratitude.
It can be as simple as appreciating a warm cup of coffee, a good friend, or a beautiful sunset. The practice of gratitude changes our focus. It reminds us of what is already working in our lives and helps us reconnect with a sense of possibility.
When gratitude becomes a consistent practice, not just something we think about, but something we genuinely feel, it transforms the way we experience the world. Over time, those small shifts in perspective create remarkable changes in how we think, feel, and live.
I'm a human being so I will always be a work-in-progress. From time to time old limiting beliefs resurface and try to pull me back into a state of mistrust. The difference now is that I recognize them when they appear, understand what they are, and use the tools I've developed to shift my perspective and reconnect with beliefs that empower me to trust.
No comments:
Post a Comment