The words in the image attached to this post couldn’t feel more true to me. I know them deeply because I spent most of my adult life living with a fear of change.
Growing up my life was, for the most part, stable and predictable. I lived in the same house until I moved out on my own, my parents were married up until the day Mom died when I was 40, and there wasn’t much uncertainty in my world. Because of that, I never really learned how to navigate major change.
That all shifted when, at the age of 31, I gave birth to my daughter Hannah, who has special needs. Overnight, the balance I thought I had in my life disappeared. I felt thrown into chaos, uncertainty, and fear. This planted a deep fear of change that I struggled with for years before I chose a different way of being.
What I eventually realized is that change itself isn’t always the hardest part, it’s the anticipation of it. Our minds race ahead, imagining every possible outcome, often focusing on the worst-case scenarios. I thought going through every possible outcome would make me feel safe. If I saw it beforehand, I could figure out how I was going to handle it. I didn't trust myself to know what to do on the spot. This resulted in a true fear of change that kept me stuck in situations that weren't the best for me. What I came to realize, however, is that change is always happening. Nothing truly stays the same, even when we convince ourselves it does.
Over time, I came to understand that progress and change are inseparable. You can’t grow without embracing change. I started uncovering the beliefs that fueled my fear and self-doubt and was able to transform them into empowering beliefs that no longer stood in the way of my growth. With each limiting belief I replaced, I found more evidence to reinforce the new mindset. Gradually, I retrained my brain to default to these empowered beliefs instead of the limiting ones.
A huge part of that journey was learning who I am on a deeper, soul level and understanding why I’m here in this lifetime. I believe I’m here to learn lessons, to grow, and most importantly, to learn trust. I realized I had a choice: continue reacting to change the way I always had and live in fear, or do the inner work needed to create a different experience. I chose to do the work.
That doesn’t mean change never unsettles me. Sometimes old fears still surface. The difference is that I recognize them much more quickly, and I have tools that help me move through the emotions instead of getting stuck in them. I can shift my thoughts toward ones that truly support me. Now, when those fears get triggered, I can see them for what they are and quiet the noise with compassion, awareness, and trust in myself.
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