There Is No Such Thing As A Typical Human

                                    

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word "typical" means "combining or exhibiting the essential characteristics of a group" or "conforming to a type."  

As a society, we naturally categorize and label people based on perceived similarities and differences. We put people into proverbial boxes because we believe doing so helps us understand them or will help us better support them. While labelling is often done with the best of intentions, they can also separate people, making them feel different or like they don't belong.

When I taught middle school, our school counselor led a student group called Labels Are for Jars. I've never forgotten that name because it's true: labels belong on jars, not on people.

My 26-year-old daughter is considered neurodivergent because her brain doesn't function in the way society has defined as typical. A sliding scale has been created for human brains, deciding what falls within the "normal" range and what falls outside of it. It's essentially a game of averages. The largest group becomes the norm, while everyone else is measured against it and is seen as outside the norm.

When I stop and think about that, it seems absurd. Every human brain is unique. No two people think in exactly the same way. Even identical twins, who share the same DNA, don't have identical thoughts, personalities, or ways of processing the world.

Perhaps the problem isn't that some people are neurodivergent. Perhaps the problem is our assumption that there is such a thing as a truly "typical" brain. If every brain is unique then we're all neurodivergent. The differences simply vary in ways that are more or less noticeable.

The damage that has been caused by categorizing people is that we've inadvertently created a hierarchy in which some groups are viewed as more acceptable than others. The moment a "typical" group is established we also create the "other" groups that don't fit the perceived norm. Whether intended or not, this division encourages an us-versus-them mindset and can create tension between groups.

These categories have also contributed to the marginalization of people whose needs differ from those of the majority. Because systems are often designed around what is considered typical, those outside the norm frequently require additional accommodations simply to have equal access and opportunity. Yet those accommodations are sometimes perceived as giving them "extra" or "more than everyone else," which can foster resentment among people who don't understand that the goal is equity, not special treatment.

What if, instead of organizing people into groups based on perceived differences, we focused on understanding and meeting each person's individual needs? If everyone's needs were recognized as equally valid, support wouldn't be viewed as an extra benefit but as a natural part of treating people as individuals. That shift in perspective could reduce much of the resentment that grows from comparing one group to another.

Making that shift is easier said than done. Most of us have been raised to notice similarities and differences, to sort people into categories, and to judge those categories often without realizing we're doing it. Changing that way of thinking requires us to move beyond labels and toward seeing each person as an individual rather than as a representative of a group.

The human brain is a judgement machine but judgment is not innate.  It is shaped through experience and learning.  Babies aren't born knowing what is safe and what is dangerous.  They learn that distinction, over time, through experience and guidance from others.  For example, we teach young children not to touch a hot stove because they can get hurt.  Sometimes they listen without first-hand experience and other times they need to get burned to learn.  Either way, they learn to judge whether a stove will hurt them or not from that point on.  

Children are born tolerant.  They aren't born being aware of differences and judging them as dangerous.  They are taught how to judge safe vs harmful or same vs different in the process of growing up just as they were taught to judge the difference in a stove that is hot and will hurt them vs one that isn't hot and won't hurt them.   

The same process occurs with people. Children are not born judging those who are different from them. Young children are often naturally curious rather than judgmental. As they grow, they learn from the messages they receive from parents, peers, schools, media, and society about who belongs, who doesn't, what is considered "normal," and what is considered different. Just as they learn to distinguish between a stove that is dangerous and one that is safe, they also learn to associate certain differences with acceptance or rejection. 

Tolerance is inherent.  Intolerance is learned. 

Understanding how judgment is learned helps us recognize that intolerance of human differences is learned as well. It often begins when we categorize people based on perceived similarities and differences. While categories may seem harmless, or even helpful, they can shape how we see others before we ever get to know them as individuals.

It's important to remember that we are all alike and we are all different. We all belong to the human race and share the same basic human needs and experiences but each of us is unique in our beliefs, ways of thinking, personalities, interests, strengths, and challenges. No two people are exactly alike.

Every person possesses gifts and faces challenges. Both are essential parts of who we are. Rather than viewing our differences as strengths versus weaknesses or reasons to rank one person above or below another, let's recognize them for what they are: the qualities that make each individual unique.

I don't expect society to abandon labels overnight. But each of us can become more aware of how we think. We can notice when we're making assumptions about someone because they belong to a particular group and remind ourselves that no one is the "typical" representative of any category. 

The greatest irony is that the one thing we all have in common is our uniqueness. There truly is no "typical" human being. We are united by our shared humanity and distinguished by our individual differences. 

Instead of dividing us, let's allow those differences to broaden our perspectives and make the world a more interesting and compassionate place.

The Truth About Reality May Surprise You

                    

 Have you ever heard someone say, or said yourself, "Get your head out of the clouds," "Take off the rose colored glasses," "You need to face reality," or after returning from a vacation "I don't want to go back to reality?" 

I certainly have, and those statements raise an interesting question:

What is reality?

Why should I get my head out of the clouds or take off the rose colored glasses? Whose reality do I need to face?  Is there only one version of reality?  Who dictates what version I need to face? Why is the version I'm supposed to face always make me feel fearful, angry, or sad? Why can't I face a good-feeling reality?

Imagine someone has just told you, "You need to face reality."

What emotions come up?

Do you feel encouraged, or do you immediately feel discouraged?

I'd wager that most people experience emotions that don't feel good. That's because many of us have been raised to associate reality with hardship.

Face reality, you have to work hard to succeed.

Face reality, the country is in chaos.

Face reality, we're doomed.

Face reality, life is hard.

None of those versions of reality leave us feeling empowered. They don't support our emotional well-being.

Growing up, I assumed everyone experienced life the same way I did. I believed the world was black and white and that everyone saw it through the same lens. As children, that's perfectly normal. We assume our experience is everyone's experience. I didn't know there was another way to see the world so I never thought to question my perception of it.

Everything changed when I awakened to the way energy and the Universe work.

Since then, I've come to see reality very differently, and that shift has changed my life in remarkable ways. It has made me calmer, more centered, and more peaceful in how I respond to life's experiences.

Here's the perspective I invite you to consider:  There isn't just one reality.

Every person experiences their own version of reality because each of us views life through a unique lens. That lens is created by our beliefs, our experiences, the way we were raised, and the meaning we assign to what happens around us.

Telling someone to face reality makes no sense because they ARE facing reality; just their version of it which is the only version they have!

I don't view the world through the same lens as anyone else on Earth because my beliefs are different.  No one thinks exactly like me.  We are each unique which means our perspective is unique.  Can we share beliefs?  Absolutely. Can we have similarities in the way we view the world? Absolutely. But no one sees life through an identical lens.  Because of that, there isn't one universally "correct" version of reality. What we often call "right" or "wrong" is usually a collection of agreements made by a society or culture. Those agreements create norms, but agreement doesn't necessarily equal universal truth.

In truth, reality is simply our interpretation of an experience. Since the same experience can be interpreted countless different ways, countless realities exist simultaneously.

Imagine two people sitting in the same room watching the exact same movie.  One is crying but the other isn't. Who's experiencing the movie correctly?

The answer is both.  One person may have been reminded of a painful memory that the movie activated. The other didn't have a negative association, so there was no emotional response. What's important to note is that the movie didn't create the emotion. Their interpretation of the movie did. 

The same principle applies to every experience we have.

Our emotions are created by our thoughts, and our thoughts are shaped by our beliefs.  Those beliefs come from many places. Some are formed through our own experiences. Others are inherited from our families, our culture, or society. Most of the time, we are not consciously aware of our beliefs so we never stop to ask whether we truly believe them or have simply accepted them because they were handed to us. 

Understand, these beliefs are the lens with which we view the world and as such, inform our view of reality. 

The empowering part, however, is that we have a choice on how we interpret our experiences. 

I can choose to live in fear of my circumstances, or I can choose to see them as opportunities to grow.

I can choose to see myself as a victim of life, or I can ask, "What is this experience teaching me?"

I can choose fear, or I can choose curiosity.

I can choose resistance, or I can choose trust.

While I can't control everything happening around me, I can control how I respond to it.  I can choose what my experiences mean. I can worry about rising gas and grocery prices, or I can anchor myself in the truth that, in this moment, I have enough. Right now, I am okay.

The past is over and the future hasn't arrived. The only place I have any influence is this present moment so my emotions in this moment take precedence. 

Does the world appear to be in turmoil? Yes. 

Can I control what's going on in the world? No.  

Can I control how I perceive what's going on in the world?  Yes.  

Because I can't control anything more than my own thoughts, emotions, and words, I choose to focus my attention there.  And when I do that, I am not only helping to create peace in my own life, I'm helping others, as well, since we are all energetically connected. 

Some people might say that's wearing rose-colored glasses or sticking my head in the sand.

I disagree.

I'm not ignoring what's happening in the world. I see it.  I simply choose to interpret it in a way that supports my well-being rather than limits it.

My emotional state matters.

I understand how energy moves through the body and how fear, anger, and frustration affect my ability to allow myself to experience the life I want. So when an experience activates a limiting belief within me, I don't pretend it isn't there. I acknowledge it, feel it, and consciously choose a more supportive perspective.

Awareness gives me that choice.

If you remember nothing else, remember this: 

By becoming aware of your emotions, you become aware of the beliefs creating them. And when you change the beliefs through which you view your experiences, you change the reality you live in.

Perhaps that's what "facing reality" really means; not accepting someone else's version of the world, but consciously choosing the version of reality that allows you to live with greater peace, purpose, and joy. 

Words Have Power

                                    

 "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."  Raise your hand if you grew up hearing this phrase.  I certainly did and I'm calling B.S.  Words CAN hurt because they have energetic power.  They have a frequency to their vibration that has the ability to activate emotions within which, in turn, can hurt us.  The energy can literally affect the way the cells of the body function and cause illness.  If that's not harm I don't know what is. 

The words can come from someone else or from your own inner dialogue.  Have you ever said or heard someone say "I have anxiety" or "I'm bad at math?"  These are blanket statements that can make you feel powerless.  I invite you to repeat them to yourself and tap into how they make you feel.  Do they make you feel good? Probably not because they both imply this is simply who you are and that change is unlikely.

Let's try a different approach.

Let's rephrase those statements to say "I'm having an anxious thought" or "I'm having a tough time figuring out this math problem." Repeat those statements and notice how you feel. You may still feel uncomfortable, but chances are the intensity is different from the previous example. 

Why? 

It's because the rephrased statements describe a temporary experience rather than a permanent identity.   We all know thoughts come and go so saying "I'm having an anxious thought" instead of "I have anxiety" tells your brain it's not who you are and it will leave as quickly as it came.  

The thoughts we think and the words we speak have a powerful effect on our bodies. 

When our thoughts or words make us feel sad, angry, fearful, anxious, ashamed, or stressed, our body releases a cascade of hormones designed to help us respond and protect ourselves. While this stress response is helpful in the short term, prolonged exposure to these hormones can damage the body's cells and contribute to long-term health challenges.

On the other hand, when our thoughts and words are encouraging and supportive,  our body releases hormones and other chemicals into the bloodstream that nourish our cells and promote both physical and emotional well-being.

Words do have power!

What can you do?

Pay attention to your thoughts and the language you use because they influence how you feel and how you interpret the world around you.

Try viewing your emotions and experiences like waves in the ocean. They roll in, they peak, and they roll back out. No wave stays on the shore forever.

The same is true for our emotions.

When we recognize that an experience or emotion is temporary, it becomes easier to move through it instead of getting stuck in it. We can remind ourselves, "this too shall pass," because it will.

The only constant in life is change.

The key is to learn how to work with change so it becomes something that supports your growth rather than something that holds you back.